Childhood Gems

I used to dream
about the rain.
Playing games in the grove
by the old secret farm house.
Catching the raindrops
in grandmother's crystal cups.
Finding safety in the cover
of the beautiful mimosa trees.
Solitude,
Active Silence.
Comfort
of Home.

who will the stranger be

Let’s play a game
It will be like old times
Do stupid things
Laugh until tears come
Fall into one another’s arms
Look into your eyes
The heart will come
Pounding out of my mouth
Falling onto the floor
It will shrivel up and die
And I will not be for a while
Walk away
I’ll be right here
Until some soul happens upon these remains
A glimmer
Catching the eye and stirring the heart
Rekindling a spark
For all it is worth
To pull me up from this bitter earth
Saving me from myself
Raising me up
And granting me that famous chance
The one undeserved
But granted nonetheless
New tears come
In thanks
Knowing it would all be thrown away
At the chance of falling again

an epic battle with failure

I fight this urge
I fail
Notice me
what does it take
it is all I want
all I really need
Infatuation
i'm obsessed
No
consumed
no games
just desire
you are becoming
a need
for me
so I beg
I plead
notice me
give me a clue
a bit of insight
so I can know
what it is I must do
to capture your attentions

come back to me

turn around
come back to me
right now
i cannot understand
how quickly you consume my thoughts
my mind
i cannot put my finger on what it is
about you
i want you
sing me a song
touch me again
pull me in
i will fall
ever so willingly
i will fall into you
come back to me
please

4:50 a.m. – My Afternoon Time

Thoughts
My body still Buzzing
My Brain is Fumbling
with Ideas

My Past Unfortunate
My Future Inordinate

Why you matter
I may never know.

Is it too late
or way too early?

My body can no longer tell
and my mind Refuses to decide.

I do not want you anymore.

Want Me.

again.

litte messy squares
covered in spills

Clean it up Please
I cannot take it any more.

Do not leave me
here
to clean up your mess
All over again
over again
and over again.

I beg of you.

Do Your Part.

I will never know what I expected
I am sure of it.

You failed me from the start
But I can only blame myself for it.

i still gave it to you
All over again
over again
and over again...
My Heart.

logic

You
are growing on me
I notice things now
I never noticed before
we talk
you are beautiful to me
awkward silence does not exist with you
quiet is comfortable
I’ll write you a song
you do not have to sing along
I am content to wait
if that is what it takes
whatever may come
whatever may be
though it may never be
I think you may be right for me

Here is a Secret for You

I am the one and only thing I hate.
Secret is out
I let you in again
Only myself to blame

So long to good intentions
Love is one big illusion
We use
Like you used me

Nothing more
Nothing Less
Than some big emptiness.
I once was more than this
Look now

You did this to me
And I let you.
I let you.

All I Wanted Was Autumn

I’m getting into this snow that is falling.
I never took the time before.
I’m falling now.
And the weather knows what’s up.

It may never be warm again
For all I know
I may be stuck with this Winter cold.

I’ll make a snow angel
And pray for the best.

My Thoughts On Love

you
my lyrics and thoughts

sleeping next to you
is always the best sleep of my life

you stole my puzzle piece

i remember your smell

bring it back

i missed myself
i did not know where i went

i have yet to be found

if i lost my voice tomorrow
i would kill myself today

The Three S's

Selfish-
wanting someone to be alive just so they can see you make something of your life.
what are you gonna do with your life anyway?

Stupid-
settling for something not good enough just because it is comfortable and you are too scared to wait for what you deserve.
what do you deserve anyway?

Security-
knowing you don't have to come home to that big empty bed.
what do you have to do to fill that spot anyway?

I bet you'll never guess what I was thinking about tonight.

Goodnight Moonlight

every sunday morning it rains I think of you
I want to stay in the bed all day and cherish the memory
we never had a song
but if we had
it would have been that one
you were so sweet when you were sleepy
it never translated to your waking hours
but it was enough
whatever enough is
it was more
you were my sunshine
I was your moonlight
you were my soul mate

I want to hear those words whispered in my ear again.
goodnight my moonlight.
i love you more than anything.